He was nodding his head, still in disbelief, still in denial, eyes closed, in a futile attempt to unravel the mystery behind the reasoning of life ~ a question that for millennia has troubled intellectuals.
Unable to control the train of thoughts that had started meddling with his mind, he paced back and forth across the hall. An eerie silence had taken over the room, which, not a few minutes ago was filled with a tense vibe. Nine years and an abrupt last call. He had foreseen this day about a week ago, but had held onto a flickering hope in a deep dark corner of his heart. The nine year old game of hide and seek needed to end.
His father broke the silence, offering consolation, “Some things that we don’t like happen. Then there are some things that we wish would happen, but they do not happen, how much ever we try. Life will go on. Such is its mysterious nature.”
As if awaiting for the cue, a quiet corner of his mind began whispering to his wandering thoughts, “Why some things happen. Why some things do not. Why something happens. Why something does not.” He was increasingly growing desperate for an answer that would put his mind in a palace of peace, even if for a short period.
“But dad” he started in a low, feeble voice. “Why all these happened to me? Made me suffer for nine long…”
As he choked with a dried up throat, a deck of memories flashed past his eyes, imparting pain, as if a hundred ice needles were piercing his neck on a frozen winter night. Another flash of imaginations spiked an undeniable rage, overpowering his thoughts. “Why did life let me live a lie for nine years? Why was I not spared from its malice? Nine years, dad, nine long years!” he exclaimed.
Matters of heart have a strange way of weakening the strongest of minds. The shenanigans of one are the sufferings of another.
“There is no easy way to understand the mystery behind why something happens. The real question however is what you really seek. If a justification is all you seek, call it the work of Fate, Karma, Destiny or God.”
Opium. Religious folks, surrendered to a higher power in either devotion or fear, assure themselves that the happening of a certain event is in accordance to God’s will. The determinists believe a causal chain triggers the outcome of a predetermined event. Poets and authors prefer staying hidden behind the disguise of personifications and metaphors.
He had contemplated this before, “Fate, Karma, Destiny, God”.
His inability to come to terms with the cards dealt by life had been intensified by the grief he was experiencing. The yet unanswered question of why the undesirable happens continued to reverberate through his mind.
Fate, Karma, Destiny, God. His mind, seeking a dose of opium for survival, had just been served.
“Nine years of love, lies and life, lost”, he sighed, tired. “I do not want an answer for survival. I want the truth”.